Anger is always a unique emotion for me. It's unique because I always get the satisfaction and disappointment at the same time after I express it harshly. Those will be normalized after I can cry. After finishing my cry, I then speak in a relaxed tone to the person that I am angry at. But as a result, my body feels that I have already spent too much energy, feeling totally exhausted. So, I realize that it will harm my body if I am always harsh when I am angry. I really need to learn how to control my anger.
Then I find a formula. This is very simple, but not easy because it needs a lot of practice. Every time when I encounter something or someone that deserves my anger, I have a mantra in my Javanese language: "Nesu nggarai kesel" (Being angry causes being unhealthily exhausted). While I am saying that mantra silently, I am cooling down my brain and heart at the same time. I cannot explain how I do that at the same time, but the sensation of feeling cool and calm comes straight right to my chest, not head. Then after that, I can control my breath easily. Maybe that makes some little magic happen. I will see things or persons that make me laugh or smile. My anger seems gone nowhere. My emotion is amazingly normal. There is no burden in my head or chest. It means that I don't suppress my anger; I control it.
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