The Absurdity of Oversharing

Every time I get informed about some random people's personal lives being on the news; local, regional, or even national, I cannot stop thinking about their life. Are they feeling comfortable while their personal lives are being consumed by society? Or are they feeling proud of being famous? 

Years ago when the internet was not for everyone, personal life stories were shared between family members, close friends, or neighbors. They were trusted that they would not share the stories to people outside of the circle. Those who were not in the circle were not supposed to hear the stories. Personal lives, therefore, remained personal.

And not to forget about celebrities' personal lives, years ago not many people really cared about their idol's personal life. They chose to care about admiring his/her work in the field of music, movie, or art. If they wanted to dig deeper about his/her personal life, they had to buy some magazines or newspapers. Or they waited for a TV program airing celebrities' life stories. From what I remember, TV programs about celebrities' lives in the old days were aired not as often as these days.

Nowadays, when the internet is unlimitedly accessible for everyone, we are forced to consume the personal lives of either celebrities or ordinary people. Though we are not interested in one celebrity, we might stumble across an article, or at least a trashy clickbaiting headline discussing that celebrity's personal life. And it is an eyesore!

The worst part is when TV stations and online media are bombarding us with tragic, bad news about ordinary persons' personal life. From the case of adultery to domestic violence, it all starts from the persons' careless decision to post it on social media. And, of course, that social media post can be a 'valid' source for those infotainment journalists to produce news. The more sensational the news they produce, the more clicks they will get, and the more money will come to them. 

To be honest, it's a good thing when we like to write and we can make money from our writing. And, in fact, the internet is one of the best places for persons who have a passion to write. However, it will be much wiser if they choose some better topics to write; not just some crappy stories about someone's embarrassing misfortune.

Now, don't you think that some people are so absurd that they over share their dirty laundry on social media? What is their purpose in doing so? Do they need supports from their followers whom they mostly don't recognize? Or do they want to be famous by sharing a sensational story about their personal life?  

For me, over sharing on social media is pointless. Let me keep my dirty laundry for myself. And let me finish it without asking for attention online.

Problems Happen

We often experience some mental fatigue when everything seems to go out of our control; the missed deadlines, the angry customers, the unfinished housework, the toxic relationships, and some other problems of life. 

How happy our body when we feel very tired after doing restless physical activities. Our body really knows its function to sense its power limit. Our body also absorbs every positivity from a good quality of rest.

However, the situation will be quite different when we are mentally exhausted. Our body feels the urge to burst out and we are not able to enjoy our rest. I know that feeling all too well. And I know why it happens to me. One clear cause is that I force myself to multitask. I am not a qualified person to do multitasking stuff, and when I force myself to do it, I get burnouts.

Anyway, when we are still alive, problems will always happen. Those problems are what make our life worth living. They will make us stronger and wiser as long as we don't run away from them. It is a good thing to choose to deal with our problems because that makes us human. Human beings are always allowed to choose options when dealing with their problems. They are allowed to make bad decisions.

So, when you are still breathing, just accept the fact that problems, easy or difficult, will come to you. Enjoy your time when facing them before you come to your final destination: death.

Kreativitas Perempuan

Pernahkah terlintas di benak kita tentang gambaran sosok perempuan masa lalu? Munculkah sosok imajinatif perempuan beruban dan mengenakan kebaya? Bagaimana gambaran sosok perempuan masa kini? Berpakaian ala pekerja kantoran dengan sorot muka cerdas? Lalu muncul sosok seperti apakah sosok perempuan masa depan? Berpakaian ala tokoh anime Jepangkah?😁

Apapun dan bagaimanapun sosok perempuan di benak kita, satu hal yang pasti adalah perempuan-perempuan itu mempunyai satu kesamaan, yaitu femininitas. Mereka makhluk yang lembut, sabar, dan penyayang. Secara struktur biologis pun mereka diharuskan untuk jadi makhluk yang lembut, yang seharusnya melakukan aktivitas apapun dengan penuh elegan. 

Berkat femininitas itu pula, perempuan dianugerahi panjang akal. Pernyataan tersebut bukannya tidak berdasar. Saya mengutip dari www.rolling stone.com:

"A new study from music researchers has found that women are engaged in creative fields like art, music, and literature at higher rates than men - and are generally more creative than men."

Saya sebagai perempuan merasa bersyukur karena dianugerahi tubuh yang ternyata sangat mendukung untuk jadi orang yang kreatif. Banyak perempuan yang nyatanya bisa mendapatkan kesuksesan ketika mereka berkiprah di dunia seni dan sastra; dunia yang menuntut kreativitas tinggi. Meskipun memang banyak juga dari pihak laki-laki, keberadaan perempuan yang mampu sukses di bidang itu padahal mereka juga melakukan aktivitas harian yang sangat padat, membuktikan bahwa perempuan memang makhluk hebat.

Para perempuan yang membaca tulisan ini pasti mengingat saat-saat berada di situasi genting, dan tiba-tiba ada ide untuk menyelesaikannya ataupun keluar dari situasi genting tersebut. 

Di situasi yang mengharuskan orang untuk segera mengambil tindakan yang kreatif, perempuan pasti lebih cepat memunculkan idenya. Hal itu bisa jadi disebabkan oleh kebiasaan perempuan yang lebih sering mengedepankan emosi terlebih dahulu daripada pikiran-pikiran logis.

Seandainya yang didahulukan adalah logika, akan muncul banyak pertimbangan yang pada akhirnya hanya akan menimbulkan keraguan. Namun karena perempuan dikatakan lebih emosional, maka wajar saja jika ide-ide kreatif bermunculan dari benaknya berkat dorongan emosional untuk segera keluar dari masalah.

Maka berbahagialah para perempuan pada hari ini, 21 April, yang diperingati sebagai hari Kartini dan sekaligus hari Kreativitas dan Inovasi Sedunia. Semoga para perempuan Indonesia, yang dikaruniai berkah kreativitas yang luar biasa, selalu tetap bersahaja dan memahami kodratnya sebagai perempuan, serta tidak pernah memandang sebelah mata terhadap laki-laki.

2020-2021

I have no idea about the way I think of 2020 and 2021, but I feel as if those two years didn't happen. I guess the pandemics played a big role why that happened to me. I don't recall many important things I have done in those two years, except the fact that I had to prepare so many complicated things concerning online teaching.

When I talk to some friends of mine about the 2020 and 2021 that didn't really happen, some agree with me. They think that those two years feel like dreams. This is perhaps because we were at home too often when pandemics hit. We didn't remember doing important things in those years.

I read some random articles about conspiracy theories that the years of covid pandemics were just simulation🤣. Well, maybe those conspiracy theorists were right after all because we human beings were experimented by the "higher power" to suffer from covid to know whether we were strong or not. Those who were not strong were eliminated by death, and those who were strong were told to be vaccinated.

And that's when the big pharmas win. So, let me just think that the big industries of pharmacies were responsible for making those two years feel like nothing. They were probably wanting those two years as simulation. And now they can predict the human behaviour when  facing pandemics. 

The human behaviour is predicted to be easily controlled when they are in fear. They also have the tendency to be very obedient when they are faced with government rules. They wear a mask not because they want to be free from covid; but because they want to avoid the sanction. 

They agree to be vaccinated THREE times not because they don't want to be infected by covid; but because they need to get access to public facilities: malls, train stations, government bureaucracies. They need vaccines because they want to apply for a job. They need vaccines because they want to be able to meet their big families for Eid al Fitr.

What a nice collaboration of big pharmas and every government in this world: to keep human beings healthy and to make them more obedient to the government.

Mengapa Kepalsuan Semakin Parah

Pernahkah terlintas di benak kita tentang orisinalitas gaya hidup kita? Sadarkah bahwa apapun yang terjadi di kehidupan kita, ada peran pihak lain yang 'mencetak' diri kita? Tidak bisa dipungkiri memang jika kita tidak bisa menjalani kehidupan tanpa campur tangan pihak lain. Campur tangan orang lain yang bersifat membangun, serta campur tangan yang bersifat mengintimidasi.

Àda yang bilang bahwa kita butuh role model untuk menjadi lebih baik. Ada juga yang bilang bahwa kita perlu selalu menunjukkan sisi terbaik kita. 

Namun jika saya membandingkan dengan prinsip hidup: 'ketika tangan kanan berbuat baik, jangan biarkan tangan kiri mengetahuinya', prinsip itu sama logisnya juga dengan: 'ketika tangan kiri berbuat jelek, jangan biarkan tangan kanan mengetahuinya'.

Perbandingan yang saya deskripsikan memang konyol. Akan tetapi, saya dianugerahi otak yang bisa saya manfaatkan untuk berpikir. Saya pun bebas berpikir dengan konyol.😅

Dengan adanya tuntutan dari kehidupan modern yang memaksa kita untuk berlaku sempurna di mata orang lain, seakan-akan kita dipaksa untuk selalu menggunakan tangan kanan kita. Kita dipaksa untuk terlihat prima, baik, cantik, tampan, berhati malaikat, tidak pernah melakukan kesalahan di mata orang lain. 

Betapa malangnya nasib tangan kiri. Betapa malangnya 'potensi' kita untuk menjadi lebih 'mengerikan' andaikan kita menggunakan tangan kiri kita. Potensi itu kita pendam dengan paksaan karena ketakutan kita akan tercemarnya harga diri kita jika potensi itu mendadak muncul. Akan sangat memalukan di mata orang lain.

Apapun yang kita tunjukkan di mata orang lain, betapa menderitanya kita jika kita terus-terusan menghilangkan peran 'tangan kiri', padahal tangan kiri itu adalah bagian dari kita juga. Lambat laun tangan kiri tidak akan bisa difungsikan. Akibatnya kita tidak bisa menjadi seutuhnya kita.

Sekarang abaikan perumpamaan saya yang menggunakan tangan kanan dan kiri. Mari kita pahami keberadaan kita di dunia sosial. Gebyar yang kita tunjukkan di kehidupan sosial, entah itu di kehidupan nyata ataupun maya, semua adalah sisi hebat, sisi berkelas, sisi wow dari diri kita. Sisi gebyar yang seakan kita lupa bahwa kita masih punya sisi yang lain. Sisi gebyar yang justru memperlihatkan betapa palsunya kita.

Semakin kita mengikuti arus yang terjadi di kehidupan sosial, semakin sempurna pula kepalsuan kita. Semakin kita menuruti hawa nafsu untuk memuaskan keinginan publik, semakin jauh kita dari otentisitas kita. 

Mari berdamai dengan diri kita yang memiliki sisi lain. Mari kita terima keberadaan sisi lain itu agar kita bisa dengan mudah mengolah sisi lain itu.