Why the Urge to Curse

Yesterday there was something that made me upset. One thing that needed to be done for the following week had to be delayed because of a sudden, unexpected request from the person who had the responsibility to do that. It really annoyed me. Then I cursed and cursed.😅

It actually feels good for me to curse when there is something really annoying for me, aside from the concept that I will be condemned to hell if I curse. That is my risk as a human being. However, if I don't do that, there will be something very painful in my chest. Something that I need to let go but I suppress it. It does hurt.

There are some people as old as me, or older than me, who never seem to curse when annoying things happen to them. But when they do express their anger, I will be shocked to witness their rage. They seem to hold so much anger that when it comes out, it just explodes terrifyingly. 

Those people are either still learning some emotional intelligence stuff or always suppressing their so-called negative emotions. I am not sure, but I hope other people won't feel hurt when they see their anger episodes. 

What I always want to come to mind after I curse out loud to nobody is that everything and everyone must be accepted the way they are. I don't have the right to protest or judge. I just need to let things happen naturally. Then after that, I don't have any pains in my chest anymore.

How I Deal with Busy Mind

I am completely anxious whenever I have things to think in my mind. It's like forcing my brain to multitask. I myself hate multitasking. But it feels to me that I cannot control my brain when it comes to thinking about some random things.

That condition becomes worse when I suddenly get an unwanted distraction. The most annoying distraction for me is a distorted noisy sound. It gets my mind to be busier than ever.

So I need to do something to distract myself from my busy mind. Doing any activity (and clearly not holding my phone) that makes me focus on doing really helps my mind to not become busy. Things like cleaning the house, playing with my pets, and rearranging the garden help my mind.

While it feels good to do nothing because I can have a self talk, doing it too often makes my mind get busier. For me, when I do a self talk, I use my thinking to produce the language in my brain and to let my mind wander. 

It's true that when people talk to themselves, they actually introspect. But when it's done too frequently, what happens is not introspection; it's an inner debate. That's what makes their mind busy.

To let my mind rest for a while, I stop thinking. Then I choose doing an activity. Well, yes it's definitely correct that my mind is actually working when I do a thing. But when the thing that I do needs an unbroken concentration, my mind is doing okay. It is not busy, and stress-free.

Be in Awe

I don't know whether you often feel awed when looking at things or people. Maybe you'll be amazed at knowing how fast the internet connection you have. Or maybe you are in awe whenever you see a sexy lady or a hot guy. You will probably think that your intelligent friend is so awesome.

Regardless of whether that thing or person can annoy you sometime, let's never forget that the moment you are in awe because of them, you will unavoidingly feel small. Just think about how obviously smart those people who can make a good system for the internet to work very quickly. And if you think about how fortunate an individual is to have that sexy lady or hot guy as the partner. And if you think about that intelligent friend's proud feeling everytime he/she can show their intelligence. Compared with your life, the worst case scenario is you will even feel inferior.

Then, let's minimize that feeling of inferiority by just being in awe at nature and the universe. You are so welcome to open your mouth wide, feeling awed, when looking at the sky at night, full of stars. You can be free to feel insignificant when looking at flocks of hundreds of birds, flying up the air, with their good navigation skills to never hit others inspite of their speedy flying. Your being in awe because of those will make you become kinder, humbler, and more generous.

If you often exercise yourself to be in awe at nature and the universe, you will, no doubt, feel thankful to be able to witness everything, including witnessing those which at first made you feel inferior and smaller. You won't be able to stop thanking and being amazed at how great the Creator has made all of those.