This morning when I was watching news program on TV, there was one thing that I still remember until now. It was about a donation program called toy donation. It was held in Central Java, Indonesia. The committee of the program said that all toy owners could give their toys to the committee. Then the committee would sell those toys in an auction. All the money of the result of the sale would be given to an orphanage in that area. After the auction was finished, one of the highest bidders was interviewed. She said that she was happy because she could donate her money to the orphanage through that charity. And then she hoped that she would get more for her life after she bought some toys with the highest price. Then I directly concluded: She helps orphans because she wants something in return.
Why didn't that woman just give? I mean that she just took out the money from her wallet to pay the toys and hoped that the money from her could do a little help to the orphans. Why did she think that she deserved to receive more after she donated her money? It's not wrong to have a positive hope, but her pure intention to help was not pure anymore. It became materialistic.
The same case happens to students. Students will give their extra effort to study for exams. They expect to get good scores. So they study hard to just want to get good scores? It will feel different if their intention to study hard is not to get good scores; but to know more from not knowing before. When they study hard, they are actually helping their brain to boost. And when they get good scores on the exams, that's a bonus.
So, let our heart and brain focus on helping when we help. Don't think about anything else. And when later on suddenly we get something good in our life, just say Alhamdulillah, thanks to God. That good thing comes from Him, because God is always good to us.
16/10/2017
02/10/2017
A schoolkid's depression
Today, an Indonesian schoolkid works very much harder than an adult with a career. Take, for example, Anisa. She is my neighbor and a fourth grader. She starts her day with usual morning activities at home. Then she goes to school. She spends her time at school from 7 am until 1 pm. And I guarantee that it is a boredom (sitting in a classroom, listening to the teacher, looking at the board, doing a bunch of exercises). Then she goes home. She has to take a nap because after that she must come to a private lesson in the afternoon. In the evening, she must study again to prepare for the lessons for the next day (doing a bunch of homework).
No wonder there are many depressed schoolkids in Indonesia. They are forced to master all subjects. They are forced to understand any material, like it or not. They are forced to study from morning till afternoon, then forced again to study at night for the next-day subjects. They are forced to do a lot of homework at night. Then the next day, the teacher doesn't even check their homework. Of course, they are disappointed (or happy if they don't do the homework).
For career persons, they don't have to work hard all day and night. From morning till afternoon, they will just focus to work in the office, doing their main job. They don't have to do many things. They don't have to be a multitasker to make themselves look super fantastic. At home in the evening, they will just have fun (watching TV, playing games, eating out). They don't need to think about and prepare for the next-day job. It's balanced between career life and personal life.
But think about Anisa's life. The whole day and night is about school life. No personal life, no family life. So, why don't we as parents let our kids have fun at home? They've had enough at school. Let them play with you, have a conversation with you, make jokes with you while they are at home after school. They will forget how boring and sleepy it is at school. The next day, when they are at school, their brain will be fresher to absorb knowledge because they have a happy life at home.
No wonder there are many depressed schoolkids in Indonesia. They are forced to master all subjects. They are forced to understand any material, like it or not. They are forced to study from morning till afternoon, then forced again to study at night for the next-day subjects. They are forced to do a lot of homework at night. Then the next day, the teacher doesn't even check their homework. Of course, they are disappointed (or happy if they don't do the homework).
For career persons, they don't have to work hard all day and night. From morning till afternoon, they will just focus to work in the office, doing their main job. They don't have to do many things. They don't have to be a multitasker to make themselves look super fantastic. At home in the evening, they will just have fun (watching TV, playing games, eating out). They don't need to think about and prepare for the next-day job. It's balanced between career life and personal life.
But think about Anisa's life. The whole day and night is about school life. No personal life, no family life. So, why don't we as parents let our kids have fun at home? They've had enough at school. Let them play with you, have a conversation with you, make jokes with you while they are at home after school. They will forget how boring and sleepy it is at school. The next day, when they are at school, their brain will be fresher to absorb knowledge because they have a happy life at home.
16/09/2017
What you see influences how you think
A few days ago a friend of mine asked me about a wedding life of Mr. Tarkie (not a real name). Mr. Tarkie is my old friend. That friend of mine asked me because she thought that I knew all about his life. She thought that Mr. Tarkie's wedding life was problematic. She thought he divorced his wife. I was shocked. I didn't even know about it. I asked her about how she got that information. She said that there were no more recent posts or pictures of him and his wife on all of his social media. So she made a conclusion that something wrong happened to his life with his wife. What a careless conclusion!
That way of concluding is just ridiculous. Looking at your friends' social media posts or uploads can make you become a ridiculous conclusion maker. It's fine when you make a good conclusion. For example, you see a photo of your friend's son holding up a trophy. Maybe you will conclude that that boy is a smart boy because he can be the winner of a contest. Or you can conclude that the parents must be proudly happy to have that son.
But what if you conclude in a different way? You know that your friend posting that photo has 2 sons. One son, with the trophy, goes to a favorite school, while another son is not very special because he goes to a school which is not famous at all. You will conclude like this: "How could the mom/dad post that photo? Okay, fine, they may feel proud. But can they imagine how the other son feels if he looks at that photo? Will he feel proud or hurt? Do the parents forget that they have another son?" Anyway, this kind of conclusion depends on the empathy and sensitivity of others. Not all people can make that kind of conclusion.
Let's go back to what my friend has concluded about Mr. Tarkie's wedding life. Mr. Tarkie used to upload photos with his wife when he was newly wed. I think that's normal for a person to do that if he is active on social media. Later on, he seldom uploaded his togetherness with his wife. He chose to often upload photos about his journey and interest. For me, I never made any conclusion about his personal life when I see those uploaded photos. I just look at them as an entertainment. Not more.
So, when a friend of mine came to me with that ridiculous conclusion of Mr. Tarkie's divorce, I was making a conclusion that her way of making conclusion is really out of the box! :)
That way of concluding is just ridiculous. Looking at your friends' social media posts or uploads can make you become a ridiculous conclusion maker. It's fine when you make a good conclusion. For example, you see a photo of your friend's son holding up a trophy. Maybe you will conclude that that boy is a smart boy because he can be the winner of a contest. Or you can conclude that the parents must be proudly happy to have that son.
But what if you conclude in a different way? You know that your friend posting that photo has 2 sons. One son, with the trophy, goes to a favorite school, while another son is not very special because he goes to a school which is not famous at all. You will conclude like this: "How could the mom/dad post that photo? Okay, fine, they may feel proud. But can they imagine how the other son feels if he looks at that photo? Will he feel proud or hurt? Do the parents forget that they have another son?" Anyway, this kind of conclusion depends on the empathy and sensitivity of others. Not all people can make that kind of conclusion.
Let's go back to what my friend has concluded about Mr. Tarkie's wedding life. Mr. Tarkie used to upload photos with his wife when he was newly wed. I think that's normal for a person to do that if he is active on social media. Later on, he seldom uploaded his togetherness with his wife. He chose to often upload photos about his journey and interest. For me, I never made any conclusion about his personal life when I see those uploaded photos. I just look at them as an entertainment. Not more.
So, when a friend of mine came to me with that ridiculous conclusion of Mr. Tarkie's divorce, I was making a conclusion that her way of making conclusion is really out of the box! :)
13/09/2017
Encrit: cat #5
Encrit is the kindest cat among all. She answers softly when I talk to her. She moves away from the house if she gets diarrhea. She will just stay in the garden. Actually she wants to stay in the house, joining to sleep with me, but maybe she understands when I say to her, "No Encrit. You get diarrhea." She will run away from me.
When Krisi had 3 kittens, Krisi didn't pay attention to her babies. She would just breastfeed them when she felt like it. So the babies needed to find comfort. I usually gave them comfort, but that was not enough. Therefore I made Encrit come to them. For the first time, Encrit looked awkward. She was not angry at the babies. She was just looking confused. But when they cuddled her belly, she sat down and they started to find the nipples. Encrit breastfed the babies! She has never delivered any baby at all!
One day some of my cats got sick. Maybe they consumed poisonous food from the neighborhood. Encrit also got sick. So she started to avoid the babies. And still, Krisi did not even care. She got sick herself. As a consequence, those babies couldn't survive. All three were dead. After the kittens' death, Encrit got worse. She looked so depressed. Encrot, her brother, was also seriously ill. He soon died. That made Encrit very depressed again. She did not eat or drink for four days after Encrot's burial. I was hopeless and I thought that she was going to die. But she could finally survive.
She is now happy and cheerful. She can move on. Though she is a little bit skinny, she is just fine. She eats less and moves joyfully. Though sometimes she still gets diarrhea, I am always ready to clean it up if the poops are in the house. I am proud of her for being a survivor.
When Krisi had 3 kittens, Krisi didn't pay attention to her babies. She would just breastfeed them when she felt like it. So the babies needed to find comfort. I usually gave them comfort, but that was not enough. Therefore I made Encrit come to them. For the first time, Encrit looked awkward. She was not angry at the babies. She was just looking confused. But when they cuddled her belly, she sat down and they started to find the nipples. Encrit breastfed the babies! She has never delivered any baby at all!
One day some of my cats got sick. Maybe they consumed poisonous food from the neighborhood. Encrit also got sick. So she started to avoid the babies. And still, Krisi did not even care. She got sick herself. As a consequence, those babies couldn't survive. All three were dead. After the kittens' death, Encrit got worse. She looked so depressed. Encrot, her brother, was also seriously ill. He soon died. That made Encrit very depressed again. She did not eat or drink for four days after Encrot's burial. I was hopeless and I thought that she was going to die. But she could finally survive.
She is now happy and cheerful. She can move on. Though she is a little bit skinny, she is just fine. She eats less and moves joyfully. Though sometimes she still gets diarrhea, I am always ready to clean it up if the poops are in the house. I am proud of her for being a survivor.
31/08/2017
Krisi: my cat number 4
One obvious thing from Krisi is her walking style. She never walks slowly. She is like a hasty cat. Every time she wants to move from one place to another, she always jogs.
She loves to be close with Domi. Maybe she thinks that Domi can protect her from Keni or Kiki. It's understandable if Keni and Kiki often disturb Krisi because of cat mating instinct. Krisi is female and Keni and Kiki are male.
I often get a little annoyed with Krisi because she hates hugs, cuddles, or kisses from me. She chooses kisses from Domi. But when it's time for bed at night, Krisi often steals the opportunity to join me sleeping in my bed. I remember when Krisi was still a kitten, she put her hand on my mouth while I was singing. Maybe she wanted me to stop singing because I was out of tune. Or maybe she wanted to sleep but couldn't because of my noise.
Anyway, my Krisi is a sexy cat. She has round but small body. She has three colors; mostly white, a little black spots here and there, and some brown next to the black. Her tail is so short. And her eyes are so sharp.
She loves to be close with Domi. Maybe she thinks that Domi can protect her from Keni or Kiki. It's understandable if Keni and Kiki often disturb Krisi because of cat mating instinct. Krisi is female and Keni and Kiki are male.
I often get a little annoyed with Krisi because she hates hugs, cuddles, or kisses from me. She chooses kisses from Domi. But when it's time for bed at night, Krisi often steals the opportunity to join me sleeping in my bed. I remember when Krisi was still a kitten, she put her hand on my mouth while I was singing. Maybe she wanted me to stop singing because I was out of tune. Or maybe she wanted to sleep but couldn't because of my noise.
Anyway, my Krisi is a sexy cat. She has round but small body. She has three colors; mostly white, a little black spots here and there, and some brown next to the black. Her tail is so short. And her eyes are so sharp.
28/08/2017
Kiki: the third cat
The whole time I always say to myself that Kiki thinks he is a dog; not a cat. He is a cheerful cat. Unlike Domi and Keni who like to spray their urine anywhere when they feel threatened, Kiki will choose to hide or attack when he feels threatened. If he thinks he cannot defeat the enemy, he will hide in my bedroom. I never catch Kiki in the act spraying his urine anywhere. But Kiki hates Keni the most. He always growls at Keni when he meets him. He always wants to attack Keni. I understand this because they want to show their dominance.
But because Keni can always spray anywhere without my knowledge and Kiki cannot (I don't know either he doesn't know how to spray or he doesn't want the room to smell bad), this makes Kiki really angry at Keni. Maybe.
I think a pet like Kiki is everybody's dream pet. When he sleeps on my bed, he loves clean and fresh sheets. He loves to sleep under my armpit, on my belly, or between my legs. When I greet him while he is relaxing or playing, he never forgets to bunt his head to my face, and meows softly with his loud purr. He often licks my finger; just like what a dog does to his master. He never tries to lick my face. Maybe he thinks that's impolite.
One thing he loves to do outside when my husband and/or I are outside is to roll on the ground full of dry soil, exposing his belly. When my husband and I touch or scratch his belly, he will roll and roll again until his whole body is full of dirt. When Keni and Domi know about this, they will also do what Kiki does; rolling and rolling on the ground. Kiki is like giving virus of happiness to other cats. They forget about fighting. They don't care if they are dirty. They just want to feel happy. And that's because of Kiki, spreading the virus of happiness.
But because Keni can always spray anywhere without my knowledge and Kiki cannot (I don't know either he doesn't know how to spray or he doesn't want the room to smell bad), this makes Kiki really angry at Keni. Maybe.
I think a pet like Kiki is everybody's dream pet. When he sleeps on my bed, he loves clean and fresh sheets. He loves to sleep under my armpit, on my belly, or between my legs. When I greet him while he is relaxing or playing, he never forgets to bunt his head to my face, and meows softly with his loud purr. He often licks my finger; just like what a dog does to his master. He never tries to lick my face. Maybe he thinks that's impolite.
One thing he loves to do outside when my husband and/or I are outside is to roll on the ground full of dry soil, exposing his belly. When my husband and I touch or scratch his belly, he will roll and roll again until his whole body is full of dirt. When Keni and Domi know about this, they will also do what Kiki does; rolling and rolling on the ground. Kiki is like giving virus of happiness to other cats. They forget about fighting. They don't care if they are dirty. They just want to feel happy. And that's because of Kiki, spreading the virus of happiness.
26/08/2017
Keni's personality: my second cat
After I wrote about Domi in the previous writing, this is the time I write about Keni, my aggressive cat. This cat is amazingly moody. When he was still a kitty, he was so spoiled. He often came to me and he wanted me to hold him. While I was holding him, he would be sleeping so peacefully.
The shocking thing happens when he grows up. He becomes aggressive. He hates and fights his other male friends; that is Domi and Kiki (I will write about Kiki in the next writing). He hates long time touches. He often scratches me on the face when I stroke him. It's like he is always in bad mood. When I get angry at him because of the scratch, he even looks angrier than me.
Things will change when he gets sick. He will be so calm that other cats will relax when they are around Keni. He lets me stroke him. He listens to me when I talk to him. He often blinks his eyes at me slowly. I'm not joking when I say I like Keni very much when he is sick.
The shocking thing happens when he grows up. He becomes aggressive. He hates and fights his other male friends; that is Domi and Kiki (I will write about Kiki in the next writing). He hates long time touches. He often scratches me on the face when I stroke him. It's like he is always in bad mood. When I get angry at him because of the scratch, he even looks angrier than me.
Things will change when he gets sick. He will be so calm that other cats will relax when they are around Keni. He lets me stroke him. He listens to me when I talk to him. He often blinks his eyes at me slowly. I'm not joking when I say I like Keni very much when he is sick.
22/08/2017
My pets' personality: Domi
If you ever want to learn human psychology; their mood, emotion, behavior, or personality trait, just try to have some pets of the same kind. For example, you can stay with 5 cats at home. Or you can have 10 chickens in the barn. Or maybe 4 rabbits. You choose. The best choice is to have baby pets. When they grow up, it's like having those many different persons at home but you don't need to have many arguments with them. You just need to feed and clean them. You can sometimes talk to them. You don't need their answer, but when you talk to them, you will feel a little bit relieved.
So, when can you learn their psychology? You cannot directly learn from the day you bring them to your house. After some weeks, they become familiar to one another. They are like children who love to play together with their friends. At that moment, they start to form their personality trait. When they really grow up like adults, it's the time when you can really detect their psychology as long as you are actually close with them.
Let me tell you about my five cats and their psychology. All my five cats are born from the same mother, but of different delivery sessions. Domi, the oldest cat, realizes that he is the oldest. He likes to lick the other four cats when he wants to show that he is being friendly. In a relaxed situation, all the other four cats welcome Domi to lick them. But when Domi wants to be alone, he'll be sitting quietly for a very long time. He doesn't want other cats to approach him. The situation will be different when I come closer to him. He'll bunt his head to my face, then show his butt to me. That goes on and on until I go away from him. When I go away from him, he'll give me a meow protest, like saying that he doesn't want me to leave him. But when I really leave him, he'll be sitting quietly again. I conclude that he is a friendly and caring cat. He cares about his friends and his owner. But he is actually introverted. He doesn't try to seek attention. When attentions come to him, he'll show his affection.
The next post will be about Keni, the temperamental cat.
So, when can you learn their psychology? You cannot directly learn from the day you bring them to your house. After some weeks, they become familiar to one another. They are like children who love to play together with their friends. At that moment, they start to form their personality trait. When they really grow up like adults, it's the time when you can really detect their psychology as long as you are actually close with them.
Let me tell you about my five cats and their psychology. All my five cats are born from the same mother, but of different delivery sessions. Domi, the oldest cat, realizes that he is the oldest. He likes to lick the other four cats when he wants to show that he is being friendly. In a relaxed situation, all the other four cats welcome Domi to lick them. But when Domi wants to be alone, he'll be sitting quietly for a very long time. He doesn't want other cats to approach him. The situation will be different when I come closer to him. He'll bunt his head to my face, then show his butt to me. That goes on and on until I go away from him. When I go away from him, he'll give me a meow protest, like saying that he doesn't want me to leave him. But when I really leave him, he'll be sitting quietly again. I conclude that he is a friendly and caring cat. He cares about his friends and his owner. But he is actually introverted. He doesn't try to seek attention. When attentions come to him, he'll show his affection.
The next post will be about Keni, the temperamental cat.
15/05/2017
Do you need to?
When you want to show
that you are strong,
Do you need to
do things that somebody else should have done?
It is fine if you wish to care
But that's not the way it goes when it's all about responsibility.
When you like to be praised about your life,
Do you need to announce
the things you've got?
It is a gift if you're so wealthy
But that's for you
to make yourself humble.
Why can't you just slow down?
Control your power,
control your desire
Be true to your heart
and keep your feet
on the ground
You don't really live your life when hypocrisy is all around
You say you love your wife
but you take somebody else's
You say that you'll marry
your loved one but
you love a woman's husband
Do you need to tell lies to create your hypocritically pretty life.
Why must you live two lives?
Control your power,
control your desire
You don't need to be hard
on your own life.
that you are strong,
Do you need to
do things that somebody else should have done?
It is fine if you wish to care
But that's not the way it goes when it's all about responsibility.
When you like to be praised about your life,
Do you need to announce
the things you've got?
It is a gift if you're so wealthy
But that's for you
to make yourself humble.
Why can't you just slow down?
Control your power,
control your desire
Be true to your heart
and keep your feet
on the ground
You don't really live your life when hypocrisy is all around
You say you love your wife
but you take somebody else's
You say that you'll marry
your loved one but
you love a woman's husband
Do you need to tell lies to create your hypocritically pretty life.
Why must you live two lives?
Control your power,
control your desire
You don't need to be hard
on your own life.
16/01/2017
With intention or for attention?
The title I typed makes me smile. Everything that most people do on the internet is always with intention and for attention. Like what I am doing now; I am typing this thought and I have the intention to post it in the hope that some people on the internet will pay attention to this. If I don't get any attention, I don't even care. But at least what has been swimming in my mind can come out as written words.
When people explore their social media account, they will do so many things. They read, comment, check others' pictures/videos, upload, download, etc. What I do most on social media is just reaction. I pay attention to the writings; that means I read; I download things that, of course, is downloadable. I enjoy looking at pictures (if it's really enjoyable). But I try to stop giving comments. Recently I feel awkward when I realize that many people know the way I talk in written language. If it's really important to talk to a particular person, I use the message feature.
As an action on social media, I occasionally post other influential persons' way of thinking which I agree and which I think it is worth sharing. I only have an intention to share; not to get attention. That's the point. In fact, normally people won't pay big attention to something a little bit serious on social media. They prefer paying much more attention to things with beauty, luxury, comedy, or maybe brutality. When a person uploads her/his picture of a vacation somewhere, it's like saying,"Hey, look! I have much money to pay for my vacation here!" When he/she posts a photo of his/her sexy body or cute face, it's like saying, "See? I am sexy, I am pretty, I am perfect." That is asking for attention. But I cannot complain because that's the use of social media; to share everything.
Now it's about good deeds that we do. Is it worth sharing? Is it fine to announce to everybody that we already give some of our money to the people who need it? Is it wise to inform people that our heart has been sincere when we help the poor? Well of course it's never wise to announce to everybody that we have hurt our best friend's feeling because it's a bad deed. People won't want their dark sides to reveal. It's really insane for example when a person tells everybody, or writes on social media, that he/she has just killed his/her neighbor's pet because that pet always enters the house! That's sick! Now with the logic of balance, if we want our bad deeds to be kept secret, why do we want our good deeds to be announced? Because we just want to get attention? Or because we want other people to think that we are an angel and we never do bad? So the best thing to do is: when we do something bad (hopefully not on purpose), keep it secret. And even when we do something good, keep it also secret. If we do it with intention to do a truly good deed, we don't want any attention.
When people explore their social media account, they will do so many things. They read, comment, check others' pictures/videos, upload, download, etc. What I do most on social media is just reaction. I pay attention to the writings; that means I read; I download things that, of course, is downloadable. I enjoy looking at pictures (if it's really enjoyable). But I try to stop giving comments. Recently I feel awkward when I realize that many people know the way I talk in written language. If it's really important to talk to a particular person, I use the message feature.
As an action on social media, I occasionally post other influential persons' way of thinking which I agree and which I think it is worth sharing. I only have an intention to share; not to get attention. That's the point. In fact, normally people won't pay big attention to something a little bit serious on social media. They prefer paying much more attention to things with beauty, luxury, comedy, or maybe brutality. When a person uploads her/his picture of a vacation somewhere, it's like saying,"Hey, look! I have much money to pay for my vacation here!" When he/she posts a photo of his/her sexy body or cute face, it's like saying, "See? I am sexy, I am pretty, I am perfect." That is asking for attention. But I cannot complain because that's the use of social media; to share everything.
Now it's about good deeds that we do. Is it worth sharing? Is it fine to announce to everybody that we already give some of our money to the people who need it? Is it wise to inform people that our heart has been sincere when we help the poor? Well of course it's never wise to announce to everybody that we have hurt our best friend's feeling because it's a bad deed. People won't want their dark sides to reveal. It's really insane for example when a person tells everybody, or writes on social media, that he/she has just killed his/her neighbor's pet because that pet always enters the house! That's sick! Now with the logic of balance, if we want our bad deeds to be kept secret, why do we want our good deeds to be announced? Because we just want to get attention? Or because we want other people to think that we are an angel and we never do bad? So the best thing to do is: when we do something bad (hopefully not on purpose), keep it secret. And even when we do something good, keep it also secret. If we do it with intention to do a truly good deed, we don't want any attention.